CHAPTER 1
On Monday, March 10, 1947, a vice-president of the advertising agency that handled the sponsor of my 5:45 P.M. Sunday broadcast over CBS telephoned me that I was being dropped from the program. He explained that the sponsor, a manufacturer of shaving cream and other shaving products, was pleased with the commercial rating but wanted now to appeal to a younger audience-perhaps with an entirely different kind of a show that would feature a jazz orchestra in place of my weekly analysis of the news.
I was skeptical of such an explanation. I also was taken aback and depressed at being thrown off the air suddenly and without warning. And I was surprised that there was no word from CBS about this. I knew enough about the broadcasting business by now to realize that, despite all the brave words by the networks, especially by CBS, claiming that they and not the commercial sponsors determined who and what were heard on the air, it was in fact the advertiser who almost always called the tune and made that decision.
Still, I thought, CBS might make an exception in my case. Over the past six years, I had built up the 5:45 P.M. spot on Sundays to have the highest Hooper rating of the day. The present sponsor had had nothing to do with this, though he had benefited. And, as my agent, MCA, recently had reminded the network, I was something of a bargain. My broadcast cost less than any other commercial program on CBS Sunday afternoons and yet had the highest rating. In fact, said MCA, it had several companies waiting in the wings to sponsor my broadcast. There was no danger that CBS would lose any money on me.
I was puzzled that the shaving-cream company would suddenly drop a show with high ratings. Ordinarily a sponsor abandoned a program only because it felt the ratings were too low to justify the expense. Could it be, I began to wonder, that the sponsor, though pleased with the ratings, didn't like my supposedly liberal view of the news?
The tensions of the Cold War already had made themselves felt in our country. There was a growing intolerance. There was increasing pressure, especially on independent and liberal journalists, to conform to the conservative views of Big Business and Big Government.
NBC had cleaned out its last two liberal commentators, John Vandercook and Bob St. John, the year before. CBS recently had edged Quincy Howe out of his 6 P.M. daily spot as soon as a sponsor had bought it and had given it to Eric Sevareid, the new head of the Washington bureau. The era of McCarthy lay just ahead, but already there were signs foreshadowing it. I had not taken the change of climate as seriously perhaps as I should. I had been through it all before-in my years in Nazi Germany.
Recently, I had begun to notice a growing criticism of my broadcasts from the right. The archbishop of New York, Cardinal Spellman, did not like some of the things I was saying on the air. His criticism was shared by other conservatives. Even the vice-president of the ad agency that handled the shaving-cream company account began to hint that I was "too liberal." He himself was rising in Connecticut Republican party circles.
It occurred to me then, as I reflected on the matter, that since the sponsor was not dropping me because of low ratings, he could be taking such action only for some other reason: to silence me.
If this were the case, I doubted that the powers-that-be at CBS would stand for a sponsor's doing that. I was, I thought, on extremely good terms with the two most important of them: William S. Paley, principal owner of CBS and chairman of the board, and Edward R. Murrow, vice-president and director of news and public affairs.
For ten years, ever since I had joined the network, I had had easy access to Bill Paley whenever anything was on my mind. He seemed like a good friend, in the counsel he gave and in the back talk he accepted from me when we disagreed. He had invited me socially, as he had Murrow, to his town house and to his home in the country, an invitation he extended to few other CBS employees, even the top brass.
Ed Murrow, my immediate boss in New York as he had been in London in our days in Europe together, was, as readers of earlier volumes of this memoir know, one of my closest friends. We had been through a lot together in the years we were building up from scratch CBS News from abroad. We had forged a bond that to me, at least, was very rare between two friends and colleagues. I had an enormous admiration for his work-he was the best by far of all the American broadcasters-and I had great respect and liking for him as a human being. Like all friends and co-workers, we had had our differences. But this had never shaken my feelings for him, nor, I had gathered, his for me.
It was, therefore, with considerable confidence that I phoned him, told him my sponsor was dropping me despite good ratings, that there were other advertisers waiting to buy my Sunday spot, and would he advise me whether the program belonged to me or to the sponsor? To put it bluntly-as he and I had always put such matters between us in the past-would he and Paley allow an advertiser to throw me off the air?
To my surprise, Ed, who began to sound somewhat officious as our conversation proceeded, said he would get back to me-in a day or two.
I next called Paley. He was brisk and businesslike. He said the decision about my Sunday broadcast was up to Murrow. Ed was in charge of CBS News.
For a week there was no word from Ed. His silence puzzled me. So, on March 19 I wrote to him and asked if he had come to any decision. The shaving-cream company had informed me in writing that I was through after the broadcast of Sunday, March 30. I would appreciate his informing me, as he had promised to do, whether this was Columbia's decision, too, since, I added, "Mr. Paley informs me that the final decision is yours and not, as I had first believed, the soap company's."
A day or two later Ed finally phoned. He was crisp and cool-most unlike the Ed I had known for ten years. He had made his decision, he said. I would be replaced on the Sunday afternoon program by another commentator. He offered no explanation.
On the following Sunday, March 23, I said at the end of my talk: "Next Sunday I will make my last broadcast on this program. I have been informed by the sponsor and by the Columbia Broadcasting System of that decision." After much wrangling over the phone, Ed had finally approved that statement. At first he had tried to make me agree not to say a word about disappearing from CBS on Sunday afternoons. I had insisted on at least mentioning it.
I had scarcely signed off with those words at 6 P.M. that Sunday afternoon when the storm broke.
***
So much that was false, misleading, and one-sided was subsequently written in newspapers, magazines, and later in books about the break with Murrow and my ouster from CBS, which destroyed my career in broadcasting and almost destroyed me, that I shall set down here for publication for the first time my side of the story: the facts as I saw and understood them. I've waited a long time to do this.
It is not because I consider what happened to me personally very important to the public, though the destruction of a man's career is important to him, but because the issues involved were of considerable importance to broadcasting in this country, then as now. Murrow, toward the end of his own career at CBS, would raise them himself in numerous speeches and interviews. Those issues concern the question of who decides whom and what you hear on the air, whose wavelengths belong to the people and not to the network, station, or advertiser, though all three of them make billions in profits from their use.
Involved above all is news and comment. Should a shaving-cream company, or any other company that advertises on a network, determine whom the public should hear broadcasting news and comment, and by its selection make certain that the public will hear what the company wishes it to hear-most likely a narrow and conservative view of events? Or does the responsibility belong to the network? And should it stand up to the advertisers' pressure and to the pressures from government, business, labor, churches, veterans' organizations, and other institutions-especially during a period of national uncertainty, witch-hunting, and hysteria such as we were approaching in 1947?
In January of that year, three months before my fall, the New York Times had raised the question in an editorial headed "Sponsored News." Writing of the "relationship between a news or comment program and its sponsor," the Times declared: "Advertisers are being permitted to say what news is to be put on the air and who is to put it on the air. No newspaper would tolerate for a moment such control of its news and opinions."
Ed Murrow, prompted, I believe, by Paley, promptly got off a letter to the Times on behalf of CBS, criticizing the editorial's views. In the opinion of most of us on the news staff, it was hardly the kind of forthright letter we would expect from Ed. A little pompous and self-righteous in tone, the letter, we thought, skirted around the truths that Murrow knew as well as any of us. What had happened to him, we wondered, since (foolishly, I thought) he had chosen to go off the air and become our news director?
"Under no circumstances," Ed wrote, "will we sell time for news and permit the sponsors to select a broadcaster who is not wholly acceptable to us or to influence the content of the broadcast."
This was stretching the truth a little, we thought. Money talked, and a big advertiser could and did pick whom it wanted to be its newscaster and commentator from Columbia's large staff. This was a fact of life on network broadcasting, and none knew it better than Murrow. It was almost the same, Jack Gould, the Times radio critic, observed in answering Murrow's letter, "as if an advertiser were permitted to say which member of a newspaper staff should or should not be responsible for an editorial assignment." And he reminded Murrow of the case of Quincy Howe. If CBS had regarded Howe as eminently qualified for the news spot when it was unsponsored, Gould asked, "why should he not be retained in that period whether or not a prospective advertiser happened to concur in the network's decision?" The answer was that if the sponsor preferred another commentator, it got him. Ed Murrow knew all about that. As news director he had been directly involved in the Howe decision.
Ed certainly knew, too, of a recent instance of Phil Wrigley, the chewing-gum king and, I believe, the largest single advertiser on CBS, insisting that I come out to Chicago to do a news and comment program that he would sponsor. Paley had practically ordered me to comply-he could not afford to "cross" Wrigley, he said-but I had refused. I did not want to live in Chicago, and I did not want to become identified as working for Phil Wrigley and his chewing gum. Much later David Halberstam, in recounting my downfall at CBS in The Powers That Be, concluded that my defiance of Paley in this instance paved the way for my ultimate dismissal-one did not "cross" the chairman either.
The controversy stirred up by the Times and Murrow's response did not, I admit, cause me any concern. Perhaps it should have, but in those days, if not arrogant, I was rather self-confident. Perhaps I was guilty of a little of what the ancient Greeks called hubris. That may explain why the blow, when it came, seemed harsh, unfair, unreasonable.
Beyond the issues involved in my case there was a very personal matter: the destruction of a great friendship. Ed Murrow had hired me in Berlin in 1937 when I was out of a job, and for that I was grateful. For ten years we had worked closely together in pioneering broadcast journalism. It had been a fascinating and exciting experience. Murrow had been an interesting, inspiring, and forthright man to work with.
And he had proved to be, I thought, a close and loyal friend. Reticent though I was about such things, I had more than once in my diary reflected on our friendship. One such reflection had formed part of the last entry I published in Berlin Diary in 1941.
We had spent four days together in Lisbon early in December 1940, when we had flown down from London and I had flown out from Berlin on my way home, if I could make it, for Christmas. It had been another fine reunion and we had sat up each night till dawn talking-talking a year of the war out of our systems, comparing our work and our lives in the two wartime capitals. We had said good-bye at the dock in Lisbon as I took ship for New York.
Aboard the Excambion, December 13 [1940] (midnight).
All day both of us depressed at leaving, for we have worked together very closely, Ed and I, during the last three turbulent years over here, and a bond grew that was very real, a kind you make only a few times in your life, and somehow, absurdly no doubt, sentimentally perhaps, we had a presentiment that the fortunes of war, maybe just a little bomb, would make this reunion the last….[18]
We paced up and down the dock in the darkening light of dusk, waiting for the ship to go.…Soon it was dark and they began pulling the gangway in. I climbed aboard and Ed disappeared into the night.
In his letters to me Ed often reciprocated my feelings. I remember a letter he wrote from London on July 27, 1941. The worst of the Luftwaffe blitz on England was over. The Germans were deeply involved in Russia, which they had attacked five weeks before, and they had few bombers to spare for London. Ed was coming home for a long leave. In the meantime he had just received a copy I had sent him of Berlin Diary, which had come out at the end of June.
July Twenty-seven…
Dear Bill:…Want to tell you how much I liked your book…not easy to write about such things, but it reveals in print the honesty, charity, tolerance and humor that is you.…Of the things you said about me I am very proud.…In fact the job we did together gives me more pride than you can know. Since you left much has gone out of this job for me….
He was lending his copy of my book, he continued, to Harold Laski and others, who "are enthusiastic…and want to review it when it's published over here.…Shall probably bankrupt myself presenting copies to friends of mine saying…look, this is what my colleague and friend wrote." He hoped I would join him in London after his return from leave.
Maybe we could come back and do this job together starting about first of March.…Why not sit down and write me a letter…don't forget how lonesome and isolated one feels over here….
From the very first I had noted a dark side to Ed that only those very close to him were aware of. He could be morose, depressed, despairing, sad. He did not find life a picnic. He had few illusions about the human race. Some of this lugubrious side of Murrow, which I liked and respected because I shared his dim view of life, came out in this letter, as it did in nearly all his letters and in our talks.
I am very discouraged…the old let down has come back to England since the Russians started fighting.…Me, I feel pretty low right now.…When the pressure is on there isn't much time to think but now one is too much inclined to try to look into the future and dear God what a future it's going to be.…Famine, plague, down into the mud…whole economy being so geared that the powers that be will fear peace more than a continuation of the war. Most people here talk of peace as though it would be something like the last peace.…Some of the stuff that's going on in these shadow governments here would make you laugh…or cry….
After the war Ed had abandoned broadcasting, at which he was so good, and returned to New York from London, where he had won such fame as was accorded to no other American journalist in England, ever, to become the CBS vice-president in charge of news and public affairs, a post in which I thought he would be wasting his talents.
I gathered Paley had pressured him to take the job-against his better judgment-telling him he was absolutely indispensable in it if CBS were to maintain the lead in radio news that it had gained during the war, largely because of Murrow, and if it were to keep that lead when broadcasting moved into television. It was the challenge to his imagination, I think, that appealed to Ed. Besides, at that time he had such an admiration for, such a feeling of loyalty to, Paley-it was mutual-that he simply could not turn him down.
TV lay not far ahead. Paley had often talked with Ed and me about the prospects of television in the many bull sessions we three had in Europe during the war. He had urged us to start thinking of how news would be presented on the tube. It would be a new challenge-much greater and more exciting than radio had flung at us.
Ed was not so sure. He was skeptical that television would have much place for news, any more than the movies did. But he was giving it considerable thought. We occasionally discussed it during that first year at home.
I saw less of Ed now than I would have liked. But I realized he was busy and absorbed in his new job. And not too happy in it, perhaps. There was some office gossip that Ed might be resentful of my making more money as a sponsored newscaster than he did as a vice-president. But I did not believe this for an instant. It would have been most unlike Ed. He had never seemed to me to care any more about money than I did. I recalled a letter he had written me from London on September 4, 1941.
"I am frankly not very much interested in making a lot of money," he had written, "although I would like to have a small nest egg so I won't be forced to look for a tin cup when I decide to come home for good."
***
Seconds after I finished my broadcast that Sunday afternoon of March 23 with the simple statement that CBS and my sponsor had decided that the following Sunday would be my last, the telephone switchboard at CBS began to light up. Five minutes later the calls were swamping the network's lines. Thousands of listeners were phoning in, or attempting to, to ask why I was being taken off the air or merely to squawk and protest. Thousands of angry letters began to pour in at CBS and the offices of the sponsor.
By Tuesday after the broadcast, picketers were marching back and forth before the entrance to CBS, flaunting their signs of protest. A committee, mostly clergymen, was formed to take up my case with the chairman of the board himself. The director of the CIO Political Action Committee issued a statement condemning CBS for ousting me and demanding an investigation by the Federal Communications Commission.
"The action of CBS," said the statement, "appears to be part of a plan to rid the airwaves of all commentators who share progressive views or whose opinions are not those of their sponsors."
Several well-known writers agreed. As one New York newspaper (P.M.) put it: "Prominent figures in the fields of politics, literature and the stage and screen were rallying behind William L. Shirer, CBS commentator, in an effort to prevent his going off the air…."
Dorothy Parker, chairman of the Voice of Freedom Committee, a sort of watchdog of the airwaves, got off a telegram to Paley.
THE DROPPING OF WILLIAM L. SHIRER FROM HIS SUNDAY AFTERNOON CBS PROGRAM OF COMMENTARY COMES AS A SHOCKING BLOW TO THOSE WHO HAVE FAITH IN THE FREEDOM OF THE AIRWAVES.
SHIRER'S HONESTY AND STEADFAST SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH IN ALL MATTERS HAVE WON HIM ONE OF THE WIDEST AUDIENCES ANY COMMENTATOR HAS EVER HAD. TIME MAGAZINE ONCE DESCRIBED HIM AS "AN AMERICAN EVERY AMERICAN CAN BE PROUD OF."
WHAT IS THE REASON THEN FOR HIS GOING OFF A PROGRAM ON WHICH HE HAS MADE A HOOPER RATING OF 6.9, ONE OF THE HIGHEST AMONG CBS'S SUNDAY AFTERNOON SHOWS?
IF THE ADVERTISER IS DISPLEASED WITH SHIRER'S VIEWS, THEN WE APPEAL TO YOU TO DISREGARD THE ADVERTISER, LEST IT BE SAID THAT HE CAN DETERMINE WHOM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE SHALL HEAR-OR SHALL NOT HEAR-ON THE AIR.
CBS HAS LONG TAKEN PRIDE-AND PROPERLY SO-IN ITS PROGRESSIVE OUTLOOK. DON'T LET THE SHIRER EPISODE BE THE FIRST BLACK MARK ON THIS RECORD.
Dorothy Parker, whom I did not at that time know personally, but whose caustic wit in her short stories and reviews I had long admired, certainly outdid herself. Her telegram of protest was signed by several dozen well-known writers and actors, including Gregory Peck, John Gunther, Vincent Sheean, Lewis Gannett, Ring Lardner, Arthur Miller, Edward G. Robinson, Judy Holliday, José Ferrer, and Margaret Webster.
They were joined in separate protests by a number of others. Robert E. Sherwood, playwright and confidant of President Roosevelt, wired Paley that it would be "a tragedy if CBS lost the broadcasts of William L. Shirer." Archibald MacLeish, the poet, also a confidant of Roosevelt and a personal friend of Murrow, wired Ed that the action of CBS "will be interpreted…everywhere as another retreat by the networks before the pressure of advertisers." He was sure, he told Murrow, "that you have done everything possible to prevent [such] an action." He couldn't have been more wrong.
Ralph Ingersoll, former editor of P.M. and of some of the Luce magazines, and also a friend of Ed, was more skeptical with his old friend. He wrote him:
Dear Ed:
I've just read the shocking news of Bill Shirer's being dropped by Columbia and I want to tell you how appalled I am. What have they done to you since you came back from England, that you aren't out in front fighting for him?
It was a question I kept asking myself-what had they done to Ed Murrow up on the nineteenth floor amid the nineteen vice-presidents?-as he began to issue statements not only justifying my ouster from the Sunday broadcast but trying to destroy me as a broadcaster, dressing up his assertions in the most amazing half-truths, evasions, and downright lies. He turned out to be uncharacteristically slick in trying to confuse the public, diffuse the protests, and finish me off at CBS. I was appalled by his disregard for the truth. It was a side of Ed that I didn't suspect existed. Was it worth it to him, I kept thinking-was it necessary-to lie for the corporation? Did he owe this to Paley?
Fortunately for me, his pronunciamentos were so devious and so contradictory that in the end, I think, judging by the comments in the newspapers and magazines, they indicted him. The utterances did not fool the press or the public, whose condemnation of CBS, Murrow, and Paley, was practically unanimous. But they did confuse some writers who later wrote of these events in magazine articles and books and who simply took Ed's company line.
***
In the midst of the hullabaloo about the shaving-cream company and CBS dropping me, the president of the esteemed concern, laden down with thousands of angry letters and telegrams protesting its action, called on me at my apartment in New York and offered to rehire me. He seemed desperate. He would do anything, he said, to stop the avalanche. The company could not afford, he added, such adverse publicity. The resentment expressed in the letters and telegrams by thousands of listeners was bound to hurt business. The company wished at all costs to avoid public controversy.
I confess the president's call and his eagerness to reinstate me cheered me up. It looked as though I would have my job back after all.
I told the president I would convey the good news to Chairman Paley and call him back at the end of the day. Unfortunately, I had to rush out to lunch with Elmo Roper, the pollster who was also a consultant to CBS, a friend of Paley and of me. He had invited me to lunch at the Rainbow Room atop Rockefeller Center to see if there was anything he could do to help solve my problem with Columbia. When I told him of the visit of my sponsor's president, he agreed with me that this probably would settle the whole matter. Elmo seemed relieved and happy about this unexpected turn. Though our food had not yet arrived, he urged me to go to a nearby pay phone and tell Paley the good news. He was sure Bill would be highly pleased.
But Bill Paley was not. His voice and manner were ice-cold. The sponsor could not reinstate me in the Sunday afternoon period, he said. CBS had decided otherwise. I was definitely out, so far as that spot was concerned.
"Thank you for calling," he said, and hung up. Elmo Roper could not believe it. But I was beginning to. I was beginning to see that Paley could not forgive me for having crossed him. You did not do that to the chairman of the board of a big corporation. For a day or two perhaps he had hesitated until he saw whether Murrow would be loyal to him and the company or to an old friend. Now that Ed had made it clear where he stood, Paley did not hesitate. He would show me the cost of insubordination.
And he would put out of his mind, as the imperious Colonel McCormick of the Chicago Tribune had done fifteen years before, as all the great American tycoons did, any thought of the services one had rendered the company over the years, the risks a foreign correspondent had taken to get the news, to cover the war, the lack of normal personal and family life, the long hours of toil seven days a week, week after week, month after month, the prestige one had brought the organization by one's work, the loyalty and devotion one had showed it. I shouldn't have been surprised. I'd been through it all before with Colonel McCormick, as had so many of my colleagues with their respective press lords. Bill Paley was just another one of the breed. With Ed Murrow, of course, it was different. I was still baffled by his behavior.
***
Paley and Murrow blamed me for stirring up all the rumpus and were furious with me, though they knew that I had had nothing to do with the reaction to my ouster from the Sunday afternoon spot. I never asked one person or organization to do anything at all. What took place was spontaneous and surprised me as much as it surprised and displeased the chairman and his news director.
Their displeasure, which quickly turned to resentment, was soon manifested. Apparently what irked Paley the most was the picketing before the CBS premises. That had never happened before. It was giving Columbia a bad name, and I was responsible for it. Paley also, I was told, bitterly resented having to receive a committee of distinguished citizens who called on him to protest my ouster and to urge him to reconsider it. That, too, had never happened to CBS before, and he was sure that I was behind this embarrassment to the chairman of the board.
Paley's feelings came blurting out at a meeting in his office with Murrow and me. He angrily informed me that my "usefulness to CBS" was over. Ed said nothing. His silence, I thought, was revealing. In fact, both men later denied that the boss had said any such thing to me. This was when they adopted a new company line: that I had not been "fired" and that the both of them had sincerely desired me to stay on at CBS-albeit not in the Sunday spot where I had an audience of five million listeners. They said this-my boss and my close friend-at the same time that they were telling the public that I had been replaced on Sunday in order to "improve Columbia's service of news and news analysis," in effect saying that I had become incompetent and, therefore, had to be replaced. And yet they expected the public to swallow the yarn that they were most anxious for me to remain at CBS and to continue to broadcast "in a different time period," as Ed put it in one of his public statements.
It would be foolish indeed [Murrow argued] for CBS to ask Mr. Shirer to continue as its news analyst, as we did from the outset, if we intended to gag or censor him.…We had hoped that Mr. Shirer would continue to broadcast over CBS in a different time period.
Both Murrow and Paley kept stressing that they had offered me "a different time period." But this was as false as were many of their other statements. Ed had at one stage said CBS would create a period for me on Saturday afternoon (when listeners wanted sports news, not analysis of world news), but Paley had overruled him on that. He had then spoken vaguely of my broadcasting on part of the period between 11 and 11:30 P.M. (after most listeners had gone to bed), but even this was not a firm offer. No assignment of a definite time period was ever made by CBS after the sponsor decided to take me off the Sunday spot. Yet Ed, in his statements to the press, continued to contend that in my case CBS had simply made a "change in assignment," the kind of expert judgment a newspaper might make in transferring a columnist's space to another page. "In fact," he added, "CBS changed the time period of Mr. Shirer's broadcasts several times in years gone by."
This was untrue. The time of my Sunday broadcast had never been changed since its inception six years before. And there was a difference, Ed well knew, between taking a commentator off a sponsored broadcast for which he had over the years built up a mass audience and simply moving him around in the unsponsored news periods at hours when there were few listeners.
Of all Ed's various statements to the press on behalf of CBS, I think I resented most the following one:
In shifting Mr. Shirer's assignment, CBS exercised its informed editorial and managerial judgment, with a view to improving its news analysis service in the Sunday afternoon spot. This was not a sudden decision but was based on careful, expert study of this program over a long period of time.
The first sentence put me down and, as Ed realized, made my working for CBS any longer impossible. It was as if the New York Times had yanked Scotty Reston off the op-ed page and told its readers such a move was done to "improve" the page.
The second sentence was a pure lie. The truth was that it was a sudden decision, set off, as Paley admitted in a moment of candor when he received the committee of protesters, by the sponsor's decision to drop me. No "study" of the program-careful, expert, or otherwise-was ever made, over a long period or a short period of time. Ed invented this one out of whole cloth. I checked this fully after my ouster. No one at CBS had ever heard of this alleged "study." Neither Murrow nor Paley, with whom I'd been very close, had ever even mentioned any dissatisfaction with my broadcasts on Sunday afternoon, though God knows they were far from perfect. Indeed, both men, right up to the last (before the sponsor acted), had constantly praised the Sunday show. It added, they said, to the prestige of CBS in the field of news, which was considerably higher than NBC's, and they especially had liked its high ratings. Not many radio news shows brought in more dough than they cost.
On March 25, five days before the broadcast the sponsor (not CBS) had designated as my last on Sunday afternoon, Murrow announced my replacement to the press. He was Joseph C. Harsch, a veteran Christian Science Monitor correspondent in Washington who also broadcast part-time for CBS. Joe was an old friend. He had arrived in Berlin for the Monitor at the beginning of the war and I had hired him there as a part-time broadcaster for CBS. He was a good journalist, not brilliant or flamboyant, but sound. Joe was also a decent and honorable man. He phoned me immediately from Washington and said he would not accept replacing me unless I consented, which I did.
Ed Murrow used the announcement of my replacement to rub it in again. "We believe," he said, "that Mr. Harsch, with his long experience in Washington and abroad and his access to news sources in Washington, will improve Columbia's news analysis in this period."
Joe Harsch, as a broadcaster on my old spot on Sunday afternoons, quickly faded out. He soon was dropped.[19] The period, reserved for me for news and comment so many years, soon gave way to a program of pure entertainment. It did not take Murrow and Paley long to lose their zeal to "improve Columbia's news analysis in this period."
In my case it had been a red herring and a lie, but I could not say so publicly. I had to leave that to others. Several radio editors and columnists on the metropolitan newspapers quickly exposed the Paley-Murrow hypocrisy. But support from another and unexpected source soon made the network look ridiculous-to the embarrassment of both executives.
***
The bizarre scene in the CBS studio and control room in New York at my final broadcast that Palm Sunday of March 30, 1947, was unbelievable. It brought back memories of broadcasting for CBS from Berlin in the Nazi time.
Ed Murrow had been at his worst when I phoned him on Saturday morning about what I would say at the end of this farewell broadcast. Ed at first had insisted I say nothing, as he had about the broadcast the week before, but I had balked at that. I thought I owed it to an audience of five million listeners to say a word about my departure. To have said nothing would have been too cowardly. Ed and I had finally worked out a statement. And though I did not like it-I had made most of the concessions-I had in the end accepted it as the best I could get from the CBS management in the present circumstances.
And then, Saturday evening, friends in the news department had phoned me to say the place was full of rumors I was going to depart from my script and blast CBS before I finished my last broadcast. I phoned Murrow Sunday morning to reassure him.
"You son-of-a-bitch! You better not try anything funny today," Ed had responded. "You better stick to the script-or else!" he warned.
"No problem, Ed," I said. "Look at all the experience I've had in sticking to scripts. In Berlin. Remember?"
I had often told him of how some little Nazi always sat opposite me in the studio in Berlin, following a copy of my script word for word, and ready to cut me off with a little switch at his hands if I deviated from it by a single word. I had had to use various inflections of the voice to get through what I wanted to say.
Ed ignored the allusion to the capital of the Third Reich.
"For your information," he said sternly, "I've got things fixed so we can shut you out in a split second."
"Just like in Berlin," I could not keep from saying.
The resemblance held to the very end. In my tiny office fifty feet from the news studio, I sweated out the writing of the last broadcast, as I had all the others, incorporating late news from the wire services into the text of a few things I wanted to say that last time. I finished writing earlier than usual-generally I was still at work on the broadcast up to a few seconds before airtime at 5:45 P.M. Ted Church, our chief editor, and Dallas Townsend, the editor of the day, both good friends, both appalled at the turn of events, had told me they were under pressure from Murrow to read carefully every word of my script. So for the last ten minutes before airtime, they sat in the news studio, one on each side of me, and combed through the script-as if they were looking for time-bombs.
I was getting very close to a state of nervous exhaustion, after battling the corporation, Paley, and Murrow. John Gunther, one of my oldest friends from our days together in Europe as foreign correspondents for Chicago newspapers, had volunteered to come in and help me through that last time, though I realized he also was a friend of Ed, who had often given him opportunities to broadcast and keep his name before the public.
My editors finally finished going over my script. I glanced at the clock. We had about ten seconds to go. I looked into the control room where my old colleague, Henry, the engineer who threw the switches and gave us our cues, and who had been doing this broadcast for years, greeted me with the wave of a hand and a smile. Two or three unfamiliar men stood behind him. Ed's henchmen, apparently, who were there to see that Henry, out of a warm feeling for me, did not hesitate if they told him to throw the switch that would instantly silence me. Ed, I heard, was directing operations from his office on the nineteenth floor. I had hoped he would come down and face me personally that last time. Church and Townsend joined the others in the control room. By now they formed a squad. This was a much larger force than had ever been summoned to keep check on me in Berlin. It was all very familiar. But I had not quite expected it here. I felt slightly repelled but also slightly amused by the way these figures-they looked like sleuths in a bad film-began to crouch over the one carbon I had made of my script.
I got through the thirteen and a half minutes of reading it about as well as I expected, considering my feelings, which I was determined must not show. I came to the last page, paused, and then read the lines as unemotionally as I could.
This is my last broadcast on this program.
The issues involved, which make it my last broadcast, are-so far as I'm concerned-important, but I believe this is not the place nor the time to discuss them. I realize you listen in on this program to hear the news.
In conclusion, I would like only to say this: To you who have followed these Sunday afternoon broadcasts since 1941-through the years of the war and the beginning of the peace-I thank you for having listened.
Immediately after the broadcast I ran into a group of reporters waiting for me outside the studio. To them I read a brief statement I had knocked out the day before saying that because CBS had made it plain by the public statements of Paley and Murrow that my usefulness at CBS was over, I was resigning.
Perhaps this was a tactical mistake. Murrow and Paley quickly seized on it to "prove" that I was not fired. Hadn't I resigned? Even Eric Sevareid, thirty years later, would publish an article in the New Republic, adopted from remarks he delivered before the Washington Journalism Center, in which he declared it to be a "myth that William L. Shirer was fired by Ed Murrow and fired because he was politically too liberal. He wasn't fired at all…."[20]
Sevareid's loyalty to CBS to the very end apparently blinded him to the way corporations, especially among the media, got rid of employees. Technically they seldom "fired" one. What they did was to make his staying on untenable and thus force him to resign. It was an old trick. I had no intention of staying on with CBS so that Paley and Murrow could humiliate me further.
***
A few days after I was replaced, the press announced that I would be the recipient of what was then radio's highest honor, the George Foster Peabody Award for "outstanding reporting and interpretation of the news," at the seventh annual presentation of the awards on April 17 at the Hotel Roosevelt in New York.
I went to the luncheon determined not to gloat over the award, though I appreciated receiving it, especially at this particular moment. In the audience below the speaker's platform I noticed Ed Murrow and a group of his men from CBS occupying one of the large round tables. Ed seemed very nervous. He glowered at me as though he was expecting me to get up and, pointing at him, rub it in about my award. He need not have worried.
Edward Weeks, editor of the Atlantic Monthly and chairman of the Peabody Advisory Board, got up to read the citation.
One of the great team of news gatherers…for CBS…William L. Shirer won the gratitude of American listeners for the truth he told us about Hitler and Germany despite the opposition of censors during those crucial years, 1938-1941. We are equally grateful to him as a commentator for his recent warning of the trouble arising in Central Europe.
Ted Weeks paused, a smile breaking over his face, which he directed first at Murrow just below him and then turning his head at me at his side at the speaker's table.
"To Mr. Shirer," he said, "…and may his voice be heard again!…the Peabody Award for the outstanding interpretation of the news in 1946."
I must confess that this was a sweet moment for me. What the audience of men and women from the world of broadcasting seemed to like about Weeks's remarks was not so much that I had received the award but Ted's felicitous note that my voice might be heard on the air again. The audience had broken into a loud and prolonged applause at the words, so that Weeks had had to pause and wait until it subsided to complete his sentence.
The account of the incident in the New York Herald-Tribune the next day noted the burst of clapping at this juncture and continued:
Mr. Shirer rose, accepted the bronze medal and said: "I want to thank this committee for this honor and for their good wishes." Without further comment he sat down.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Murrow breathing a sigh of relief. A couple of days before, in a speech to the Overseas Press Club, he had made a snide remark about the Peabody Award being given to me. He had received it three years before, in 1944, he said, "at a time when I was no longer doing my best broadcasts." The implication was clear. But making it in public was most unlike the Ed Murrow we all had known up to this point.
But by now he was spewing forth in public almost daily his and the corporation's poor opinion of me. It was as if the sponsor's dropping me had aroused some old and fierce animosity in Ed that none knew had existed. As a parting shot, the day he and Paley forced me to resign after my last broadcast on March 30, 1947, he had issued another public statement that concluded:
The Columbia Broadcasting System and no one else decided to place another news analyst in the period that has been occupied by Mr. Shirer, and Mr. Shirer doesn't like it, and that's all there is to it.
The words were so bland, so smug, so deliberately misleading that even on this last day, after all that had happened, I found it difficult to believe that they could come from Edward R. Murrow. Sad…that they had.
***
The Peabody Award was not the only timely recognition I got about my work as a radio journalist during those tense days when Paley and Murrow were doing all they could to denigrate it and publicly humiliate me. In June that year Billboard's sixteenth annual poll of some one hundred newspaper radio editors selected me "as the most interesting news commentator on the air," and this was duly reported in the daily press. And on March 10, the day the sponsor notified me I was through, the secretary of the Alfred I. duPont Radio Awards Foundation wrote to tell me that the Committee of Awards included my name "prominently among those considered for the 1946 Award." Although it went to Elmer Davis, "the Committee has requested me to advise you," the secretary wrote, "of their appreciation of the excellent work you have done in line with the objectives of this Foundation. With our best wishes for your continued success…."
CHAPTER 2
No doubt in the next few weeks and months and even for a year or two I felt sorry for myself, suddenly deprived of a career after having practiced it, not without some modest success, for twenty-two years-ever since I had turned twenty-one and finished college and set out for Europe.
My ouster, I believe, marked the beginning of a new CBS policy of knuckling under to what it thought was the temper of the times. That Murrow would go along with it saddened me. Soon, with the arrival of Senator McCarthy on the scene as the great exposer of Communism and Communists in America, CBS would actually stoop to investigate the loyalty of CBS employees, especially those in the news department. After that, CBS compelled its employees to sign a loyalty oath, the only network that did. Whatever Murrow's private feeling, he went along with the corporation. There is no record of his publicly protesting this shabby investigation. He himself signed the humiliating loyalty oath and advised his colleagues to do likewise. By this time he had given up his executive job as head of news and, happily, returned to the air. He also became a director of the corporation. As even Kendrick, the most sympathetic of biographers, wrote: "In becoming a member of the CBS Board of Directors, Murrow placed himself within the CBS decision-making apparatus that instituted the loyalty oath, engaged in blacklisting…."
By this time I had given up trying to understand what had happened to my old friend. I was out of CBS, out of broadcasting, and I no longer saw the man who had hired and fired me. But for some time after my departure I did try to fathom why Ed Murrow turned on me so savagely that spring of 1947. Others tried too, but with no more success than I had.
David Halberstam in The Powers That Be, published thirty-two years later, suggested that though Ed and I were good friends, we had been, "in a subtle way, rivals as well."
Murrow, deft, civilized, the ultimate gifted broadcaster in projecting mood and feeling; Shirer, a far better writer, more cerebral, a more penetrating journalist in dissecting ideas and issues. It had been a friendship not without its edge, but they were men bound to each other by a transcending common experience which had evoked the best of each of them. More, they were identified with each other completely in the public mind, for in those dark days at the start of World War II it had been their two voices, Murrow and Shirer, that the nation had listened to: listeners could not think of one without thinking of the other.[21]
Be that as it may, I had never felt myself to be a rival of Ed. Our talents, I thought, were complementary. Ed was incomparable on the air. He had a feeling for communication by radio that amounted to genius. He had the manner, the voice. I did not. What I brought to fledgling radio journalism was a broad experience as a foreign correspondent. Murrow had had no journalistic training, either at home or abroad. He had joined CBS as an educator. I had spent twelve years before coming to CBS as a newspaper correspondent in all the important European capitals and, more briefly, in large parts of Asia. I knew Europe: its languages, its culture, its history, its national rivalries. That was why, I believe, Ed had taken me on in the first place.
As Halberstam indicated, our friendship had not been without its edge. We had had our disagreements. Once, before the war came, Ed had complained bitterly that I seemed to be more loyal to Paul White, director of news in New York, under whom I supposed we both worked, though I realized Ed loathed him, than to him, as European director of a staff that consisted only of him and me. Ed had a slight jealous streak.
Some at CBS thought Ed had been jealous of the success of my first book, Berlin Diary, which came out shortly after his own first book, This Is London, in 1941 and quickly outsold it, climbing to the top of the best-seller list. But I did not believe it. No one could have written of that book and its author as movingly and as generously as Ed had to me.[22] He was just as generous, as we have seen, about the book in public.
Murrow, I was told, had resented my not joining him in London after I left Berlin at the end of 1940. I had explained to him that I had been away from the United States for too long-some fifteen years, compared to his three-and that I needed to live and work at home for at least a short while. With a lull in the war, after the fall of France and Hitler's abandoning any attempt to invade Britain, it was a good chance for me to get acquainted with my native land and to see a bit of my family for the first time. When the lull was over, especially if America got into the war, I would return. He himself, now that the news in London had become somewhat routine for the moment, was coming home on extensive leave. I doubted if I could make much of a contribution in London, where he had become a legend. For the time being, I thought I could contribute more in New York. One had to know and understand the militarist, aggressive dictatorship, which now had conquered most of Europe and posed a threat not only to Britain and Russia, but to America, though our good people were blind to it. None of the men broadcasting for CBS from New York had my experience and background. None of them knew Nazi Germany, or the rest of Europe, at first hand. Paley and Paul White, our news director, agreed that the best place for me at the moment was New York. I had explained all this to Murrow in London.
He had replied that while he regretted my decision he respected and understood it. Later, even when the war was over, after I'd returned to Europe twice, in 1943 and 1944 to help cover, first, the Eighth Air Force, which had begun its big bombing of Germany in 1943 from its bases in England, and then the American army, in 1944, after it landed on the Continent and drove toward Germany, my failure to join Ed in London earlier still seemed to rankle him.
One night shortly after the end of the war, when we had journeyed back together to Europe from New York on the old Queen Mary, still converted to a troop ship, Ed had suddenly turned against me with an astonishing fury. Driving up to London from Southampton, where we had disembarked, Ed had suddenly lurched at me and tried to pummel me, cursing me. He had been drinking heavily that evening-we both had-but nevertheless his strange behavior surprised me. He was rather incoherent and I was not sure what was upsetting him, though later it dawned on me that it had to do with what he called my letting him down after I left Berlin and decided to stay at home for a while. Next day he called at the flat where he had put me up in London and apologized, and I put the incident out of mind. Like some of my other good friends, such as Jimmy Sheean, one of my closest and oldest, Ed sometimes got a bit belligerent when he had downed too many.
So, as I tried to sort out what had affected Murrow that spring of our break, I put down that first resentment at my not going over to work with him in London after my Berlin assignment was over. There had been a similar experience, after the war, when I declined to join Ed as his assistant when he abandoned broadcasting to become director of news and public events. I did think he understood when I told him then that I was an even worse executive than he was.
There was one other incident I recalled that took place after Ed had settled down on the nineteenth floor at CBS headquarters. AFRA had threatened to strike the networks on behalf of its members, actors and other performers on the air. Murrow had called us news commentators in and told us that in case of a strike we would have to fill in the time-if necessary around the clock-reading news and commenting on it. I told Ed flatly I would not strike-break against AFRA. I would respect its picket lines. Ed had not liked that.
So, though I was not conscious of it, there had been perhaps an accumulation of grievances against me in Ed's mind that had long simmered and that happened to boil over at the moment the sponsor decided to drop me. I was taken aback, I must admit, at the lengths they drove him to. I was surprised that his loyalty to the corporation and to its chief was so total. It was not necessary. His place with the company and with Paley was secure.
At least for a long time to come. I don't think Ed looked beyond that. Who would? In the next few years in New York Ed would enjoy a new and even dizzier success in broadcasting than he had had in London during the war. But his turn would come, as mine had. I mentioned this to him in one of the last talks we had, a day or two before my exit, and he would remember it, years later.
"I've been through this before," I said, "with the Chicago Tribune. Every newspaperman has, if he has been around long enough. You can't possibly imagine it now, Ed, but your turn will come. Someday you'll get just what I'm getting."
One thing puzzled me about Murrow's zeal in dumping me. Sensitive and intelligent as he was, Ed knew what was in the wind, knew that we were entering a period of growing intolerance and hysteria, of witch-hunting and Red-baiting-some of the very things he had been passionately against all his adult life. For all his wild and misleading statements about me, he knew in his heart that, our friendship aside, this was no time for him or CBS to knuckle under to the hysterical forces of reaction that were beginning to take over the country by ousting me because a shaving-cream company and its Madison Avenue advertising agency thought my views a bit too liberal. I would be among the first victims, but he must have known that others would follow, though I do not believe he had the faintest inkling, as I did, that he himself eventually might meet a similar fate.
Still, the signs were there.
The previous fall, the November 1946 congressional elections had been a disaster for the Democrats. For the first time in eighteen years the Republicans had captured both houses of Congress, much of its majority the result of its candidates winning on a platform of clearing the Communists out of the government in Washington, its "communistic" targets including such staunch patriots as General G. C. Marshall, Undersecretary of State Dean Acheson, and President Truman himself. This Congress was bitterly reactionary. Its Republican majority proclaimed that it was not only going to clean the Communists out of Washington but also repeal all social and welfare legislation passed since the beginning of the New Deal. The clock was going to be set back with a vengeance, if not back to McKinley, at least to President Calvin Coolidge.
Among those elected that fall of 1946 was a little-known local judge, Joseph R. McCarthy of Wisconsin, to the Senate, and an even lesser known local politician in California, Richard M. Nixon, to the House. Both had accused their opponents of sympathy with Communism and of having "Communist" support. The voters had fallen for it, as they usually do in this country.
To take the steam out of Republican charges of being soft on Communists, President Truman had himself ordered all federal employees to take a loyalty oath. Those suspected of disloyalty were fired. Their hearings, when granted, were a farce. To add fuel to the fire, the attorney general, Tom C. Clark, had issued a list of ninety organizations which in the opinion of the Justice Department were subversive-mostly because they were allegedly "Communist Fronts." Every month or so, Clark would expand his list, until it included dozens of innocent groups. No matter. Any government employee who had belonged to one of them, or contributed funds to it, or been sympathetic, might be held to be disloyal and discharged. The witch-hunt had begun. Distinguished careers were beginning to be destroyed. The House Un-American Activities Committee leaped in. The FBI, often in cahoots with Senator McCarthy and the committee, lent its aid, and took the lead in checking up on hundreds of thousands of suspected subversives. Soon McCarthy would push his way to the front of the pack, exposing alleged "Communists" in government.
Eventually Murrow realized where such hysteria was taking the country. And in the end he would turn on the shabby senator from Wisconsin in a memorable broadcast that exposed McCarthy for the mountebank he was and indeed hastened his end. But to some, Ed's move came late. David Halberstam, researching his book The Powers That Be, noticed it. It was "significant," he thought, "that Murrow's broadcast attacking McCarthy took so long in coming."
McCarthy was getting away with murder, "yet he [Murrow] did not act. McCarthy had given his first speech in March 1950, and that year had passed, and then 1951, and then 1952, and then 1953. Starting in 1952 friends began to ask Murrow and Friendly when they were going to take McCarthy on."
Halberstam thought Murrow became "seriously disturbed by the company's and his own failure to move earlier on McCarthy.…Murrow's own failure to act had become an issue among journalistic colleagues. Afterward [he] was haunted by the fact that the program was so late."
But better late than never. No other network then, or later, allowed one of its commentators to take on McCarthy. The broadcast of Murrow on his See It Now program devastated the Red-baiting senator from Wisconsin, and he never recovered from it.
But it turned out also to be the first step in Ed Murrow's fall from grace at CBS. Several members of management and the board of directors were far from pleased. Frank Stanton, president and the righthand man of Paley, returning from a business trip to the Midwest, called in Fred Friendly, Murrow's collaborator on See It Now, and told him that several affiliates there thought the broadcast had been bad for business. Some went further. They thought Murrow's attack on McCarthy "might cost the company the network."
Indeed, Ed soon confronted the same sponsor problems that had helped terminate my career at CBS. Alcoa, which had stuck by Ed through many a public controversy, decided the next year not to renew See It Now. Then, in a series of moves that resembled those he and Ed had taken against me, Paley decided to phase out See It Now, despite its enormous prestige as by far the best public affairs program on TV. Soon it was gone, and a poor substitute show was given to another (Friendly) to produce, and Ed found himself on the way out.
***
A few months after ridding CBS of me, Murrow returned to broadcasting. First on radio, and then on television, he was again a glittering success. He was the best there was. He pioneered boldly in TV news as he had in radio news. Much more than any other he shaped the nature of the presentation of news and the covering of public events, including wars, on television, to which, the surveys tell us, most Americans now go to ascertain the happenings of the day. His failure to achieve more in the face of the stupidity and greed of the networks, especially his own, broke his heart and broke him in the end.
In those first exciting years of television, which brought into the home not only the voice but also the face, not only the sound of a city or a battlefield or whatever but also the sight, Ed Murrow became more famous than ever, his finely chiseled, brooding countenance familiar in every household in the land.[23] He was said to be making millions. But the commercial corruption and cheapening of the medium that had brought him such overflowing awards finally sickened him, gnawing away at his insides. However belatedly, after how many millions, he turned on the huckstering broadcasters in a speech to them at Chicago on October 15, 1958, and publicly condemned them and their broadcasting stations and networks for their inanity, timidity, avarice, and irresponsibility.
Paley never forgave Murrow for the Chicago speech. From that moment on their unique relationship started to cool and dissolve. Or, perhaps it had begun to go a few months before when Paley had thrown Murrow's trail-blazing program See It Now off the air after seven lively years of life as the best public affairs program on TV.
Ed, I heard, felt this was "the end" for him. He was bitter. To Charles Collingwood, his protégé whom he had hired in London during the war, he confided: "You're only important around here as long as you're useful to them.…When they're finished with you they'll throw you out without a further thought."[24]
He took a year off, a sabbatical, to think things over. He traveled leisurely around the world. When he returned, he found himself virtually through at CBS. His last program had been taken off the air. A new program, CBS Reports, which he had thought he would head, was given instead to another, his old collaborator on See It Now, Fred Friendly. The year off, the trip around the world with his wife and son, had not helped him, physically or mentally. Friends at CBS said he was exhausted and depressed and looking for a graceful way out.
***
I ran into Ed one day on Madison Avenue. It was a cold, dark day in December 1960, shortly after the publication of my Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, on which I worked night and day for ten years. I had not seen Ed during that time. We had never become reconciled. I had not sought or wanted reconciliation, though I heard from mutual friends that he did. What had happened thirteen years before had receded in my memory but it could never be undone.
Ed was in a somber but relaxed mood, reminding me of how he had been in the old days when we were eager young colleagues. But his looks shocked me. His deeply lined face was emaciated; his trim body seemed shrunken. A cigarette dangled from his lips. He coughed.
He congratulated me on the reception of my book on the Third Reich, which had just crept to the top of the best-seller list and which had been accorded some esteem by various reviewers and which promised for the first time since my end at CBS to give me an assured income for a few years.
"It's a tremendous achievement," Ed said. "Far greater than anything we've done on the air. You ought to be proud of yourself."
I mentioned that I had followed his dazzling career on TV. He thanked me and then his face darkened.
"I'm through at CBS," he said. "Washed out."
I told him it was hard to believe. He had given almost his whole adult life to Paley and the network.
"In the end, I got what you got," he said. "I remember you told me I would. I should have known it."
He seemed uncharacteristically bitter at CBS. And he told me briefly how he had been squeezed out. Luckily President-elect Kennedy had offered him the directorship of the U.S. Information Agency and he was accepting. He was going to resign from CBS, after twenty-seven years with the network. He was fifty-three and in poor health-mainly, his associates thought, from years of overwork and too many cigarettes.
***
One warm day in August 1964, nearly four years later, Janet Murrow, Ed's wife, with whom we had also been very close-she was the godmother of our second daughter, Linda-phoned from their country place near Pawling, New York, and spoke to my wife. She said Ed very much wanted to see me and asked if we could drive over the next day from our farm, which was an hour away in Connecticut, and have lunch.
I had heard he was dying of cancer. He had given up his job at USIA, despite President Johnson's urging that he remain, after the assassination of President Kennedy. He had gone to a hospital and had one lung removed. We accepted Janet's invitation immediately.
As we drove over to Pawling the next day-it was one of the loveliest days of the summer, pleasantly warm, dry, and sunny-I told Tess that I would not discuss, nor let Ed discuss, our break. I had heard again recently that he wanted a reconciliation.
Tess and I were taken aback by Ed's appearance. He was a mere shell of the man we had known in our youthful, golden years in Europe together. His body had shrunk and seemed even thinner. His face, pale and bloodless, was also much thinner, the cheeks hollow, the furrows deeper in his forehead and around his eyes, which were still bright. Though he had given up smoking, he coughed a great deal and seemed to have trouble breathing. That probably was due, I thought, to his having only one lung. Perhaps also the cancer was spreading.
We had much good talk at lunch in the old but elegant farmhouse, though Ed seemed a bit on edge. Still, he talked warmly of those first years in Europe when all four of us were young and excited about life. We laughed nostalgically as we recalled some of the good and crazy times together in Berlin, Geneva, Vienna, London, and the first year in New York after we came back from the war.
After lunch Ed said he would like to take me around in his jeep and show me his farm. We had compared notes about the joys and sorrows of two city slickers trying to farm, though on my one hundred acres in Connecticut, I did little more than garden and cut firewood, while Ed had a going farm twice as big with a couple of hundred head of pure-bred cattle and good haying fields.
I suggested that the jeep ride over the rough terrain might be too tiring for him. He seemed so frail and spent. Also I was uneasy that he wanted to get away from Janet and Tess so that he could have a heart-to-heart talk with me about the past. But he insisted on our going and we drove off over the fields, Ed at the wheel. It was a rather rough ride and soon Ed was perspiring profusely. But he kept bravely on. Twice as we mounted a ridge where you could look over the surrounding country, Ed stopped the jeep, sat back, caught his breath, pointed out the view, and started to say something about the old days together. I changed the subject as quickly and gracefully as I could.
We fell silent and Ed drove back to the house. There we joined our wives for tea. Later Ed and Janet came out to the driveway to see us off. We all agreed it had been a good reunion.
"After much too long a time," Ed put in, his face lighting up for an instant. He was breathing hard and looked terribly tired.
He had not mentioned his health except to joke about giving up cigarettes after chain-smoking through his adult life. He was facing dying with the same courage he had faced life, with the same simple courage he had shown during the war when he had roamed the streets of London with the bombs falling all about him or when he went off, once, on an RAF bomber on a mission over Berlin, from which only half the planes returned.
It was the last time I saw Ed Murrow. The next spring, on April 27, 1965, he died of a brain tumor.
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