What I Really Know About True Gifts
by Carolyn Clark, Staten Island, N.Y.; reprinted from AARP Bulletin December 2012
Kevin and I married when I was 19 and he was 21. No one thought it would last, particularly when, after about 10 years of marriage, I began suffering from severe psoriatic arthritis. Kevin had to help me bathe and dress, listen to me shriek when I couldn't bear the touch of a bedsheet, and push me so I could make it up the stairs to our second-floor apartment.
When a spouse becomes disabled, especially a wife, marriages often fail. But instead of leaving me, Kevin became my hero. He wouldn't let me quit. We are both musicians-he plays trombone, and I play French horn and keyboards. When I was so stiff and sore I could barely move, I would say, "I can't go to work. I can't even get up." His reply was, "Yes you can. It'll make you feel better." His tough love-he would carry me if he had to-usually prevailed. And he was right. Once I got moving, I almost always felt better.
The disease progressed. I could walk only a few steps with a cane, then not at all. Our upstairs apartment became impossible, but he was determined, and we found a house with no steps. Today, 25 years after my diagnosis, we have two sons, 14 and 6, run a local symphony orchestra, and are active in our church and community. We have achieved a fairly normal, happy existence. My husband has chosen over and over again to give me the gift of life. Not a life of sitting idly by, but a life rich with purpose and love. I am the luckiest person in the world.
50th Anniversaries, Holidays, National Observances and Birthdays
50th anniversaries
Dec. 3
Police arrest approximately 774 demonstrators at the University of California, Berkeley, following their takeover of and massive sit-in at the Sproul Hall administration building to protest the decision to punish student activists for what many thought had been justified civil disobedience earlier in the conflict. It begins a long period of U.S. campus unrest that will develop into an antiwar movement.
Dec. 6
"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," a Christmas television special filmed in stop-motion animation, airs for the first time on NBC as part of the General Electric Fantasy Hour. It will be telecast every year from then on, making it the longest-running Christmas TV special in history.
Dec. 11
Che Guevara speaks at the U.N. General Assembly in New York City. An unknown terrorist fires a mortar shell at the building during the speech.
Dec. 18
The first "Pink Panther" theatrical cartoon short, "The Pink Phink," features the Panther harassing his foil, a little man who is actually a caricature of Friz Freleng, the cartoon's creator. It wins the 1964 Academy Award for Animated Short Film.
December national months, observances and holidays
National Impaired Driving Prevention Month
Dec. 1: World AIDS Day
Dec. 3: International Day of Persons with Disabilities
Dec. 7: National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day
Dec. 10: Human Rights Day
Dec. 16: Hanukkah begins at sunset
Dec. 17: Pan American Aviation Day
Dec. 17: Wright Brothers Day
Dec. 24: Christmas Eve
Dec. 25: Christmas Day
Dec. 26: Kwanzaa begins
Dec. 31: New Year's Eve
December milestone birthdays
5 things you didn't know about Denzel Washington, actor (born Dec. 28, 1954)
A native of Mount Vernon, N.Y., he is the son of a minister and a beauty shop owner.
His first acting experience was around age 7, when he appeared in a talent show at the local Boys & Girls Club. As a movie star, he became a national spokesperson for Boys & Girls Clubs of America.
He has a degree in journalism from Fordham University.
He's known in the business as an "immersion actor," doing extensive research before playing a role.
Bloomberg Businessweek has proclaimed him "America's most reliable movie star" because his movies consistently attract big opening-weekend audiences and make money.
50
Dec. 4: Marisa Tomei
Dec. 8: Teri Hatcher ("Desperate Housewives")
Dec. 10: Bobby Flay (restaurateur, celebrity chef)
Dec. 18: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin (professional wrestling star)
Dec. 23: Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam)
60
Dec. 11: Jermaine Jackson
Dec. 15: Mark Warner (U.S. senator)
Dec. 18: Ray Liotta
Dec. 21: Chris Evert
Dec. 25: Annie Lennox (singer-songwriter)
Dec. 28: Gayle King
Dec. 28: Denzel Washington
70
Dec. 2: Cathy Lee Crosby
Dec. 11: Brenda Lee
Dec. 19: Richard Leakey (paleoanthropologist)
80
Dec. 4: Wink Martindale (television game-show host)
Dec. 5: Joan Didion
Dec. 9: Judi Dench
Dec. 28: Maggie Smith
Freebies, Scams and Savings Tips
December free stuff
Monthlong: Customize free letters from Santa at freefunchristmas.com, freelettersfromsantaclaus.com and letterfromsanta.org.
Dec. 18: Free shipping on online purchases from participating merchants at freeshippingday.com.
Yearlong Freebies
Books, CDs, DVDs, Internet access, classes and lectures: At 17,000 public libraries across the country.
Cash back: Rebate websites such as BeFrugal.com, CouponCactus.com, Ebates.com and Extrabux.com pay back a percentage of online purchases from select retailers.
Computer security software: Avast! (avast.com/index), AVG (http://free.avg.com/us-en/homepage) and Microsoft Security Essentials for Windows (http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/security-essentials-download).
Computer software for word processing, spreadsheets and other features: OpenOffice.org.
Credit report: Get three credit reports per year (one from each reporting bureau) at annualcreditreport.com. Scores cost extra.
Diet and exercise plans: FatSecret.com, MyFitnessPal.com and SparkPeople.com.
Factory tours: FactoryToursUSA.com.
Grocery-shopping apps to compare prices or use coupons: CardStar.com, CouponSherpa.com, KeyRingApp.com, http://www.RedLaser.com, and ZipList.com.
Hotel freebies: Check Priceline.com.
Home improvement workshops: Held weekends in local Home Depot (homedepot.com) and Lowe's (lowes.com) stores.
Medications (such as antibiotics): Meijer (meijer.com/pharmacy), Publix (publix.com/pharmacy/Free-Medications.do), ShopRite (shoprite.com/in-our-store/pharmacy) and other chains.
Military and veterans freebies: Various freebies and discounts at military.com, militaryandveteransdiscounts.com, themilitarywallet.com and VeteranOwnedBusiness.com.
Free or discounted tickets to sporting and other events for enrolling at vettix.org.
Wedding gowns for military brides at bridesacrossamerica.com.
Movies and TV shows to watch online: Crackle.com and Hulu.com.
Recipes: AllRecipes.com and Epicurious.com.
Restaurants: Some chain restaurants offer freebies on your birthday or anniversary if you subscribe to their e-newsletters or email clubs.
If you're a kid (or dining with one), certain restaurants offer "Kids Eat Free" promotions. Check MyKidsEatFree.com for details.
Go to your favorite businesses' Facebook pages and see if they offer free food and other stuff by clicking on "Like."
Samples of products: freesamples.org, getitfree.us, mrfreestuff.com, shop4freebies.com, startsampling.com, sweetfreestuff.com, TheFreeSite.com and TotallyFreeStuff.com. (To receive information without overloading your primary email, open a free dedicated account at Yahoo or Gmail.)
Free shipping: FreeShipping.org lists everyday shipping freebies and discounts.
Travel insurance: Check whether your credit card provides free travel insurance and other on-the-road perks.
December scam of the month: Gift card grift
No need to send a letter to the North Pole-Santa already knows what you want: Gift cards are the most requested holiday present. Problem is, those you wind up giving or receiving could be useless. Here's how.
In the most common ruse, crooks open wrapped envelopes of gift cards in display racks, scratching or peeling stickers to find hidden code numbers. The cards are then placed back on the rack for purchase by unsuspecting customers. Meanwhile, scammers periodically check the issuer's toll-free number to determine when that particular card has been activated and for what amount. With that final information in hand, the thief can make online purchases, and there's no need to have the actual card in hand.
With gift cards that have activation codes printed on the envelopes themselves, crooks carefully open the envelope and swap the blank card inside with a used one. When a customer picks up that envelope and takes it to the register to have the card activated, it's the stolen blank card that actually gets the value, not the one in the envelope.
Some crooks use tiny card reader devices they buy online to scan information from its magnetic strip. Then they put the card back on the rack and when it's bought and activated, the thief makes a duplicated cloned card for an in-store shopping spree.
Also beware of phone calls, emails or text messages saying you won a gift card. These scammers try to get you to redeem on a scammer website that installs malware. Or they ask for your credit card number to pay a small delivery fee-in reality, a ruse to make fraudulent charges on your credit card account.
To reduce your risk, always buy gift cards from racks behind a counter staffed by a store employee, or when buying from a display rack that is out in the open, make sure that the card's packaging hasn't been tampered with and that any peel-off sticker over a code is firmly in place. And always get a receipt for yourself as well as for the card recipient.
December best buys
Cars: Traditionally, this is a slow time at dealerships, since consumers' attention turns to holiday spending. But sales quotas still must be met. Translation: a good time to bargain on new and used vehicles.
Golf clubs: It's the off-season-so take a swing at the "new" merchandise that arrived in spring.
Real estate: April has the inventory, but slow showings in December-along with motivation to sell before year's end for tax purposes-can make sellers desperate. Some real estate agents say the single best days to score a bargain are immediately before or after Christmas.
Small appliances: Toasters, blenders and mixers make for easy last-minute holiday gifts. Retailers make it easier with seasonal promotions.
Tools: As with Father's Day, the holidays offer hands-on savings for the handy.
Toys: For the very best seasonal savings, wait until midmonth; the 10-day period before Christmas is when most toys are drastically discounted.
December sales tax holidays
None this month.
Fun Places to Go This Month
This list isn't comprehensive, and dates weren't all confirmed when we went to press, so verify the information with the websites provided and check your local newspaper for other ideas.
December great vacations
Dec. 7
Grand Illumination
(colonialwilliamsburg.com)
Williamsburg, Va.
The windows of the historic town's Colonial buildings twinkle with candlelight-and at night the sky erupts in three separate spectacular fireworks displays.
Weekends
Christkindlmarkt Bethlehem
(christmascity.org)
Bethlehem, Pa.
This is the time of year when seasoned travelers head for the great Christmas Markets of Europe-but the smart ones hop over to Bethlehem, Pa., for one of the world's great holiday shopping experiences. See glass-blown ornaments created (and try your hand at making one yourself) to the strains of live holiday music.
Monthlong
Solvang Julefest
(solvangusa.com)
Solvang, California
Founded by a group of Danish immigrants just over a century ago, Solvang celebrates the holidays like they do in the Old Country. There's live music in the streets, a traditional nativity pageant at the outdoor Solvang Festival Theater, and all month long the village streets are lined with live, decorated fir trees. Come back in early January for the town's annual Christmas Tree Burn, when everyone brings their dried-out trees for one spectacular finale.
December book fairs
None this month.
December film festivals
Dec. 3-7
Whistler Film Festival
(whistlerfilmfestival.com)
Whistler, British Columbia
A small weekend-long festival, Whistler's attracts about 10,000 moviegoers-though there are usually a fair share of industry bigwigs among them-to its mountainside screenings of about 80 films from around the world.
December food and wine festivals
None this month.
Diet, Health and Recipes
December health tip of the month
Flu season is at its peak now, so we hope you got your flu shot. These seven immune-boosting foods may also help keep you healthy: almonds (antioxidant vitamin E); black-eyed peas (a good source of zinc); carrots (vitamin A helps fight respiratory infections); mushrooms (selenium wards off flu); tea (green or black has powerful antioxidants); tomatoes (vitamin C); and yogurt (probiotics).
December superfood of the month: Salmon
Sneak a healthy salmon meal into your holiday planning. Salmon has been called a "super fish" because, among other things, it's low in contaminants and high in omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3s can reduce your risk of having a heart attack, prevent irregular heartbeat, lower blood pressure, serve as an anti-inflammatory and even help build brain cell membranes. They might also play a role in preventing cancer. But our bodies don't make omega-3s, so we can only get them through food and supplements. When choosing between wild-caught and farm-raised salmon, keep in mind that farm-raised tend to have more fat and more of the toxic chemicals called PCBs; they also have a much lower ratio of the good omega-3 fatty acids to omega-6 fatty acids. While both are good and necessary for health, omega-6s could increase inflammation, while omega-3s fight inflammation.
December fitness tip of the month
Can't seem to find time to exercise during one of the busiest months of the year? You might be moving more than you think. Strap on a pedometer before you head out for your holiday shopping and then, instead of getting frustrated that you can't find a parking space nearby, rejoice when your little step-counter gizmo registers that many more steps taken. (You want to aim for 10,000 per day.) You can find inexpensive pedometers at discount retailers, or get a free one when you sign up for Walk with Walgreens (walk.walgreens.com), a program that lets you log your total steps while earning coupons and other prizes.
Medical breakthrough of the month: Giving back makes us happier, healthier
It's a season of giving, and the newest research supports the ancient philosophy that happiness is indeed tied not to how much we receive but to how much we help others. It turns out that our genes actually reward us when we're unselfish and punish us when we act like Dickens' Scrooge before his transformation. Scientists at the University of North Carolina and the University of California, Los Angeles, analyzed the white blood cells of participants and found that those who linked their happiness to consumption had high levels of unhealthy biological markers-linked to diabetes, heart disease and risk of cancer. The volunteers whose happiness was based on service to others had low levels of the unhealthy markers. The research was published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
December recipe of the month: Slow Roast Stuffed Chicken
This main course is a holiday staple, but the stuffing here makes it special. And the next day the leftovers can be just as good (and sometimes even better).
By blogger Michelle Minnaar, greedygourmet.com, @tweetygourmet
From AARP's ThinkFood: Recipes for Brain Fitness (Posit Science), aarp.org/ThinkFoodCookbook.
Serves 4-6
INGREDIENTS
¼ cup butter, divided
1 onion, chopped
1 teaspoon ground allspice
⅓ cup basmati rice
⅓ cup pecans, chopped
2 tablespoons pine nuts
½ cup sultanas (golden raisins)
½ cup + ⅔ cup chicken stock, divided
1 whole 5-pound chicken
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
½ teaspoon salt
DIRECTIONS
Put 2 tablespoons butter into a large frying pan and melt it over medium heat. Add the onion and cook for 5 minutes until the onion is translucent and soft. Stir in the allspice.
Add the rice and nuts to the pan, and then cook for 2-3 minutes over medium-high heat. Add the sultanas, ½ cup of chicken stock and ¼ cup of water. Bring to boil, then reduce the heat and simmer for 8-10 minutes, until the water is absorbed. Set aside to cool.
Preheat the oven to 285 degrees F. Rinse the cavity of the chicken with cold water and pat dry inside and out with paper towels.
Spoon cooled stuffing into the cavity. Truss the chicken with string, then place in a deep baking dish. Rub salt and pepper into the skin with your fingertips.
Melt remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and pour over the chicken, then add remaining ⅔ cup stock to the pan. Roast for 2 hours 30 minutes, basting every 30 minutes with juices from the pan.
Increase the oven's temperature to 350 degrees F, and cook for 30 minutes more to brown the chicken thoroughly.
This Day in History
Dec. 1, 1955: Rosa Parks, a 42-year-old African-American seamstress, refuses to give up her seat to a white man on a public bus in Montgomery. Ala., and is promptly arrested. Parks' act of defiance inspires a boycott of the bus system, and, a year later, the U.S. Supreme Court will decide against racial segregation laws for buses.
Dec. 2, 1954: Sen. Joseph McCarthy is censured by the Senate for "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute" arising from his inability to substantiate claims that there were large numbers of Communists and spies working for the federal government.
Dec. 3, 1947: Tennessee Williams' Pulitzer Prize-winning drama "A Streetcar Named Desire" opens at the Ethel Barrymore Theatre on Broadway, starring Marlon Brando as Stanley Kowalski and Jessica Tandy as Blanche DuBois.
Dec. 4, 1978: Dianne Feinstein becomes San Francisco's first female mayor, succeeding George Moscone, who had been murdered a week earlier. Feinstein will be elected in her own right in Nov. 1979.
Dec. 5, 1933: President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs a proclamation ending Prohibition and warns against a return to "repugnant conditions." Earlier in the day, Pennsylvania, Ohio and Utah ratified the 21st Amendment, which ended the alcohol ban.
Dec. 6, 1902: Martha Washington, wife of President George Washington, is the first American woman to be featured on a commemorative stamp, gracing a series of 8-cent postage stamps.
Dec. 7, 1941: Approximately 360 Japanese warplanes bomb the U.S. Naval base at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii, killing nearly 2,400 Americans, mostly sailors aboard battleships in the Pacific fleet. Seeking a declaration of war against Japan on the following day, President Franklin D. Roosevelt will declare to a joint session of Congress that Dec. 7, 1941, will forever be a "date which will live in infamy."
Dec. 8, 1980: John Lennon, a founding member of The Beatles, is shot and killed outside the Dakota apartment building in New York by obsessed fan Mark David Chapman. Earlier in the day, Chapman had asked for and received an autograph from Lennon on his new "Double Fantasy" album.
Dec. 9, 1990: Solidarity union leader and Nobel Peace Prize winner Lech Walesa is elected president of the Republic of Poland in the country's first direct presidential election.
Dec. 10, 1964: Civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. accepts the Nobel Peace Prize, declaring, "The beauty of genuine brotherhood and peace is more precious than diamonds or silver or gold."
Dec. 11, 1936: King Edward VIII voluntarily abdicates the British throne. His reason: to marry Wallis Warfield Simpson. They become the Duke and Duchess of Windsor.
Dec. 12, 1917: The Rev. Edward Flanagan opens Father Flanagan's Boys' Home in Omaha, Neb., with $90 that he borrowed. Over the next century, the center grows to become Boys Town, a nonprofit organization that has helped millions of troubled and neglected children around the country.
Dec. 13, 1918: President Woodrow Wilson arrives in Brest, France, to lead the American delegation at the Paris Peace Conference, which will officially end World War I. He will also promote his vision for an international peacekeeping organization, the League of Nations. Wilson's arrival in France marks the official European visit by a U.S. president while in office.
Dec. 14, 1911: Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen and a team of four others become the first men to reach the South Pole, arriving a month ahead of British arrival Robert F. Scott's Antarctic expedition.
Dec. 15, 1890: Sitting Bull, leader of the Sioux tribe, is killed in a bloody confrontation with Indian police at the Standing Rock Indian Reservation in present-day South Dakota. The Sioux chief had been put under arrest by Indian Service against James McLaughlin, who feared that Sitting Bull would lead the growing Ghost Dance movement.
Dec. 16, 1773: Defiant American colonists dressed as Mohawk Indians throw 342 chests overboard from British tea ships docked in Boston Harbor. The "Boston Tea Party" is in protest of the East India Co.'s monopoly of the tea trade and the heavy taxation of certain goods in the Colonies without representation in Parliament.
Dec. 17, 1903: Orville Wright is the first person to successfully pilot an airplane, staying in the air for 12 seconds as his brother, Wilbur, monitors from the ground near Kitty Hawk, N.C.
Dec. 18, 1865: Secretary of State William Seward proclaims that the 13th amendment to the U.S. Constitution, ratified by three-quarters of the state legislatures earlier that month, has gone into effect, officially ending slavery in the United States.
Dec. 19, 1843: Under the pen name Richard Saunders, Benjamin Franklin begins publishing Poor Richard's Almanack, a book of practical information and proverbs. The almanac will be published continuously for the next 25 years, becoming one of the most popular works in colonial America.
Dec. 20, 1860: South Carolina legislators vote unanimously, 169-0, to secede from the Union after Abraham Lincoln is elected president.
Dec. 21, 1937: "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" premiers at the Carthay Circle Theatre in Los Angeles. The classic movie, which cost $1.5 million to make, is the result of work of 750 artists, who created more than 1 million drawings for Walt Disney's first full-length, color animated film.
Dec. 22, 1864: Union Gen. William Sherman sends a message to President Abraham Lincoln, presenting the city he captured, Savannah, Ga., "as a Christmas gift."
Dec. 23, 1823: "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night." The beloved poem "The Night Before Christmas" (otherwise known as "A Visit from St. Nicholas") is published anonymously in the Sentinel of Troy, N.Y. Generally attributed to Clement C. Moore, the poem is largely responsible for popular conception of Santa Claus and his reindeer, along with many other Yuletide traditions.
Dec. 24, 1818: Franz Xaver Gruber and the Rev. Josef Mohr's Christmas carol "Silent Night, Holy Night" is sung, with guitar accompaniment, for the first time during the Christmas Eve Mass at St. Nicholas Church in Oberndorf, Austria.
Dec. 25, 1776: Gen. George Washington leads three Continental Army divisions across the Delaware River into Trenton, N.J., to launch a surprise morning attack on 1,400 Hessian mercenary soldiers. Most of the Hessians will be captured, at the cost of a handful of American lives, making the victory a significant boost to lagging American morale.
Dec. 26, 1908: Jack Johnson becomes the first African-American heavyweight boxing champion with a 14-round knockout of Canadian boxer Tommy Burns in Sydney, Australia. Johnson, who brazenly defied Jim Crow laws in the United States, will defend his title against a string of white boxers, including James Jeffries, the "Great White Hope," until Johnson finally loses a fight to Jess Willard in 1915.
Dec. 27, 1904: J.M. Barrie's play "Peter Pan," the story of a young boy who refuses to grow up, opens at the Duke of York's Theatre in London.
Dec. 28, 1958: In a match-up often called "the greatest game ever played," the Baltimore Colts beat the New York Giants 23-17 in sudden death overtime to win the 1958 NFL championship game at Yankee Stadium in New York. An estimated 45 million Americans watch the game, televised by NBC, marking the beginning of a surge in the popularity of football in the United States.
Dec. 29, 1989: Vaclav Havel is elected Czechoslovakia's first non-Communist president in four decades.
Dec. 30, 1924: Astronomer Edwin Hubble announces his discovery of the Andromeda Galaxy, indicating that the Milky Way is not the only galaxy in the universe. Hubble used a 100-inch telescope at the Mount Wilson Observatory in Pasadena, Calif., to see Andromeda, more that 2 million light-years away from Earth. Hubble's discovery also proves that the universe is much larger than was previously thought.
Dec. 31, 1999: In accordance with the treaty signed by the President Jimmy Carter and Panamanian Gen. Omar Torrijos in 1977, control of the Panama Canal and the Panama Canal Zone reverts back to Panama.
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