I could form a genuine liking
for a genuine, frenzied Viking
I could get a great big handle
On a wanton, raving Vandal
Have some fun
with a Hun
Enjoy a toot
with a Brute
You can hear my heart applauding
for a little crazed marauding
I would gladly plight my troth
to a rabid, bestial Goth
Chorus #1:
Why don't you loot me?
Why don't you pillage?
Why don't you (boom-boom-boom) (tympani)
sack my village?
Why don't you lavishly
proceed to ravish me?
Get to work! Be a Turk!
Draw your sword and go berserk!
Refrain #1:
I want a Barbarian!
I need a Barbarian!
A good old Barbarian!
Right out of the past!
Don't give me urbanity!
Or even humanity!
I want some insanity!
The kind that will last!
Chorus #2:
Why don't you raid (board) me?
And make me wrassle?
Why don't you (boom-boom-boom)
storm my castle?
Invade my coastal line!
Indulge in (boom) rapine?
Beach your long boat! Lead your crew!
Whip out your blade and run me through!
Refrain #2:
I want a Barbarian!
I need a Barbarian!
A good old Barbarian!
Right out of the past!
Don't give me civility!
Just give me virility!
And lots of ability!
The kind that will last!
Chorus #3:
Why don't you riot?
Come do your duty!
'cause here I am (boom-boom)
your helpless booty!
Why don't you breach my wall?
Besiege my entry hall?
Activate your catapult!
Break into my treasure vault!
Refrain #3:
I want a Barbarian!
I need a Barbarian!
A good old barbarian!
Right out of the past!
Just give me ferocity!
A touch of atrocity!
And lots of velocity!
It can't be too fast!
Epilogue: (Spoken)
I don't want no man named Percy
Want a man who'll show no mercy
Who'll give me some iniquity
Straight out of antiquity.
One who digs depravity
Can break the law of gravity
Put my body on his shield
Force my poor old will to yield
Not a good Samaritan
A very bad Barbarian
Who'll take me from East or West
Grab my spoils and fly his crest.
On his boat or on his horse!
seize and carry off by force!
Steal my stock and burn my crops!
(I'll throw away my headache drops!)
Lay waste my flesh! Ignore my moans!
Fall upon my helpless bones!
Depredate and plunder me!
Break the bed right under me!
(Sung)
Oh, boy, I want a Barbarian tonight!
Oh, yeah I want a Barbarian tonight!
Oh, wow! I want a Barbarian TO-NIIIIIIGHT!
(Muttering as music fades)
rampage – outrage – wooden cage – stone age
molest – war chest – acid test – lots of zest
etc adinfinitum…
Nothing ever came of it.
* * * *
In the latter part of my life, (the early 80's) I wrote a few more songs.
One was:
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