DES Bill Paterson
LIONEL Michael Byrne
BLINDFOLDED MAN Douglas McFerran
Directed by Harold Pinter
Designed by Ian MacNeil
Lighting by Kevin Sleep
A BLINDFOLDED MAN sitting on a chair.
Two men (DES and LIONEL) looking at him.
DES
Do you want to know something about this man?
LIONEL
What?
DES
He hasn't got any idea at all of what we're going to do to him.
LIONEL
He hasn't, no.
DES
He hasn't, no. He hasn't got any idea at all about any one of the number of things that we might do to him.
LIONEL
That we will do to him.
DES
That we will.
Pause.
Well, some of them. We'll do some of them.
LIONEL
Sometimes we do all of them.
DES
That can be counterproductive.
LIONEL
Bollocks.
They study the man. He is still.
DES
But anyway here he is, here he is sitting here, and he hasn't the faintest idea of what we might do to him.
LIONEL
Well, he probably has the faintest idea.
DES
A faint idea, yes. Possibly.
DES bends over the man.
Have you? What do you say?
He straightens.
Let's put it this way. He has little idea of what we might do to him, of what in fact we are about to do to him.
LIONEL
Or his wife. Don't forget his wife. He has little idea of what we're about to do to his wife.
DES
Well, he probably has some idea, he's probably got some idea. After all, he's read the papers.
LIONEL
What papers?
Pause.
DES
You're right there.
LIONEL
Who is this cunt anyway? What is he, some kind of peasant – or a lecturer in theology?
DES
He's a lecturer in fucking peasant theology.
LIONEL
Is he? What about his wife?
DES
Women don't have theological inclinations.
LIONEL
Oh, I don't know. I used to discuss that question with my mother – quite often.
DES
What question?
LIONEL
Oh you know, the theological aspirations of the female.
Pause.
DES
What did she say?
LIONEL
She said …
DES
What?
Pause.
LIONEL
I can't remember.
He turns to the man in the chair.
Motherfucker.
DES
Fuckpig.
They walk round the chair.
LIONEL
You know what I find really disappointing?
DES
What?
LIONEL
The level of ignorance that surrounds us. I mean, this prick here –
DES
You called him a cunt last time.
LIONEL
What?
DES
You called him a cunt last time. Now you call him a prick. How many times do I have to tell you? You've got to learn to define your terms and stick to them. You can't call him a cunt in one breath and a prick in the next. The terms are mutually contradictory. You'd lose face in any linguistic discussion group, take my tip.
LIONEL
Christ. Would I?
DES
Definitely. And you know what it means to you. You know what language means to you.
LIONEL
Yes, I do know.
DES
Yes, you do know. Look at this man here, for example.
He's a first-class example. See what I mean? Before he came in here he was a big shot, he never stopped shooting his mouth off, he never stopped questioning received ideas. Now – because he's apprehensive about what's about to happen to him – he's stopped all that, he's got nothing more to say, he's more or less called it a day. I mean once – not too long ago – this man was a man of conviction, wasn't he, a man of principle. Now he's just a prick.
LIONEL
Or a cunt.
DES
And we haven't even finished with him. We haven't begun.
LIONEL
No, we haven't even finished with him. We haven't even finished with him! Well, we haven't begun.
DES
And there's still his wife to come.
LIONEL
That's right. We haven't finished with him. We haven't even begun. And we haven't finished with his wife either.
DES
We haven't even begun.
LIONEL put his hand over his face and sobs.
DES
What are you crying about?
LIONEL
I love it. I love it. I love it.
He grasps DES's shoulder.
Look. I have to tell you. I've got to tell you. There's no one else I can tell.
DES
All right. Fine. Go on. What is it? Tell me.
Pause.
LIONEL
I feel so pure.
Pause.
DES
Well, you're right. You're right to feel pure. You know why?
LIONEL
Why?
DES
Because you're keeping the world clean for democracy.
They look into each other's eyes.
I'm going to shake you by the hand.
DES shakes LIONEL's hand. He then gestures to the man in the chair with his thumb.
And so will he … (He looks at his watch) … in about thirty-five minutes.
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